Wednesday's Child: Shawn (Mentee Turned Mentor)

“Skilled immigrants can contribute a lot to Canadian businesses. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they’re willing to put a lot of energy in to prove themselves.”

How I learned about The Mentoring Partnership

I came to Canada in 2006 and started looking for a job in marketing and sales, but without local experience and education, I couldn’t find one. I decided to build on my analyst experience and become a financial analyst. While studying and doing a co-op program, I heard about The Mentoring Partnership from one of my friends.

Why I returned as a mentor

What I like about The Mentoring Partnership program is that it’s face-to-face. I wanted to share my job search success with other skilled immigrants. I believe I have enough to offer: good communications skills, ability to inspire people, and plenty of job search, and interview experience.

What makes a good mentor-mentee relationship

You always need to be professional. If you have mutual respect for each other and you trust each other, you can build a strong relationship. I gained a lot as a mentor. It helps me reinforce my skill set. The more you share the more you improve your knowledge.

What I tell my mentees

Skilled immigrants often apply for jobs for which they are overqualified. They need to position themselves right and inspire themselves. Remember: Don’t lose your patience and don’t give up.

Shawn Fang is a Financial Analyst with ABC Group Inc.

Wednesday's Child: Taofeeq (Mentee Turned Mentor)

“Mentoring is meaningful for me because I can share what I have experienced with other skilled immigrants. And the learning is two ways. Mentoring helps me to develop other people on the job. What I practice outside the office helps me to be more effective and efficient on the job.”

My international advantage

As an IT professional and consultant, I traveled extensively for Shell and consulted in the United States, Europe, Australia, China and the Middle East. I also worked in the Netherlands for  four years. As a Nigerian, I can say with confidence that I know how to work with people of all cultures and that has to be an asset in this country.

How I approached my job search

First I registered at COSTI, where they really helped me with my resume. I had 20 pages to start with! That is the norm in Europe. Together we got it down to three pages.

What I learned from my mentor

My mentor explained Canadian culture and the workplace. I believe this insight has been essential in helping me integrate in all the jobs I’ve had since.

Breakthrough moment

COSTI told me about a recruitment fair  they were  organizing for  top companies in Canada. My COSTI supporters encouraged me to ask questions at the end of the interview to clarify any questions I had and to show I was really interested in the job. I hadn’t ever thought that I should ask questions for that reason. I started with Enbridge in March 2008 as a project manager and within three months I was a senior manager. That job and additional Canadian certifications helped me land future roles with SaskPower and Hewlett-Packard.

Message for skilled immigrants looking for a job

Tailor your resume. If you secure a job interview, then practice with someone who knows your field, like a mentor, and get feedback. Be confident. Sometimes we underestimate how important confidence is, especially in other cultures.

Why I returned to become a mentor

I felt that I had gained a lot from my mentorship, so I have to give back and say thank you.

Taofeeq Olatinwo is a senior manager of SAP at Hewlett-Packard.

Wednesday's Child: Nicolae (Mentee Turned Mentor)

“I would say that signing up for a mentor through The Mentoring Partnership is the first thing new immigrants need to do when they arrive. Working with a mentor is the best way to learn about Canadian workplace culture and how to network. Your mentor can help you start to build those connections.”

Why Canada?

I come from Moldova, one of the ex-republics of the Soviet Union. My wife and I were looking for new opportunities and better life.

My international advantage

I have over ten years of international accounting experience.  I also speak Russian and Romanian.

My job search experience

First I concentrated on improving my English. Then I registered with several recruiting firms and got temporary work as accounting clerk. A contract came up in Europe for one year, so I took that for some steady work. When I came back I registered with JVS Toronto and they introduced me to the idea of getting a mentor.

What I learned from my mentor

I had no idea what an effective job search looks like here. I had looked mostly online for job postings, when in reality the hidden job market is pretty huge. You have to learn where to look for jobs in your field and who to talk to.

Breakthrough moment

I actually heard about my current job through my wife’s mentor who was working at Mackenzie Financial. She told me to apply and I did. I’ve been happily employed there for over a year.

Why I chose to mentor

My company is corporate partner in The Mentoring Partnership program. A few months ago they were recruiting mentors. I realized that I am much more knowledgeable about how to look for a job here.I can share my experience and help other people.

My mentoring experience so far

When I first met my mentee he had been looking for a job the same way I did initially. He was searching online and not using the right words on his resume. Within two months of us meeting he found a job. It feels good to speed up the job search process for another newcomer.

Nicolae Stanca is Senior Trust Accountant, Mackenzie Financial

Wednesday's Child: Nitin (Mentee Turned Mentor)

“I think my biggest learning about how a job search here differs from one in India is that you have to be able to sell yourself. Over there you are more likely to get a job based on who you know. That will help get you in the door here, but then you are competing against several strong candidates and their credentials.”

Why Canada?

While originally from India, I had traveled a lot for work and felt that North America would be the right place to settle my family.

My international advantage

I bring over 15 years of experience in international freight and logistics, mostly from South East Asia. Most North American companies are eyeing this part of the world as our local economy struggles to get back on its feet. I speak four additional languages and have an in depth understanding of how business is conducted in that part of the world. I was also previously based in the US for just under two years, so I’ve experienced business practices all over.

What I learned from my mentor

Rishi and I focused mostly on how to interview. He emphasized that relationships are what can get you in the door, but then you have to prove yourself. I learned how to present and market my experience.

Why I returned to become a mentor

Even with my strong international experience it still took me seven months to find a job. I wanted to give back and help someone else find their first break. I talk to my mentee about patience and believing in yourself, instead of taking a survival job.

Nitin Ovid is Country Head, Freight Systems Canada

Wednesday's Child: Joel

Having a mentor my eight grade year has been a wonderful experience. Before now I never really knew what a mentor was all about but Mr. Foster has definitely made it very clear for me. Mr. Foster is a positive roll model I can look up to and aspire to be like when I grow up. I look forward to meeting with him on Tuesdays because he always gives me something to think about in a way that I had not thought about it before. He has taught me how to be a leader, make wise choices and also encouraged me to take care of my health.

Until now I never really thought seriously about what I want to be when I grow up and now I realize how important it is. I think being a mentor is a very nice thing to do to show kids you care about them and what happens to them in the future and I hope when I’m an adult I will be able to do the same thing.

Wednesday's Child: Aditi (Mentee Turned Mentor)

“The opportunity to mentor means that I have come full circle. After realizing my dream in Canada I am happy to pay it forward to other newcomers if they are struggling to settle in this country.”

Why Canada?

My husband and I wanted to settle in Canada for better opportunities for our careers and our family. There is better work-life balance here than in the United States.

My international advantage

I bring an MBA with over ten years of human resources experience spanning India, Indonesia and the United States. The exposure to different cultures means I can adapt to any workplace.

What I learned from my mentor

I was paired with Angela Agostino, Director of Human Resources at Pitney Bowes. Angela helped me better position my international experience and encouraged me to be patient. She helped me understand the dynamics of business in Canada, although it was clear that things here were not much different from where I had worked previously. During the mentoring relationship, I did get an offer from a multinational engineering firm in the area of talent management. I am now with Deloitte in HR consulting and am happy to say my career is on track.

Why I returned to mentor

I always knew I wanted to share my experience and success strategies once I was established. I knew The Mentoring Partnership would introduce me to a motivated newcomer who might need support.

How I think I helped my mentee

My first mentee was an immigrant from India whose experience and education mirrors my own.  I admire how proactive she is in her quest to establish herself. From the beginning, I have felt that my role has been to act as a sounding board for her and provide guidance along the way.

Advice for other newcomers looking for work

Two pieces of advice: Patience is critical and you must tap into all possible networks. I know this is not the norm in some cultures, but that’s what you have to do here. You have to put yourself out there.

My message to other former mentees

Mentoring is a highly positive, rewarding experience. As a mentee ,you have been through the settling experience and you’re that much closer to understanding the challenges involved.It’s worth sharing your experience and speeding up the job search process for someone if you can.

Aditi Swaminathan is a Senior Consultant in the Human Capital Consulting practice with Deloitte.

Wednesday's Child: James

Abrigal and James

Boston, MA

Abrigal Forrester was 21 and just starting a long prison sentence when he found himself desperate for positive role models. He needed someone to look up to. He needed someone he could relate to and talk to.

More importantly, he needed someone who would challenge him to begin the long process of rebuilding his life from behind the walls of a prison.

Abrigal says he didn’t have to look far to find good mentors.

“It was the older guys (in prison) who got me thinking about who I am and where I was at in my life at the time. Some of them became father figures to me, almost like a parenting situation. They challenged me,” Abrigal, 43, recalls about the most important mentors while serving a 10-year mandatory sentence at Massachusetts State Prison.

Since completing his sentence, Abrigal has worked with numerous organizations that support court-involved youth, low- income populations, and chronically unemployed individuals, including Boston Foundation’s Street Safe Boston initiative, Urban League of Eastern Massachusetts (ULEM), and the Suffolk County House of Corrections. Today, Abrigal directs the criminal justice initiatives at YouthBuild USA’s national headquarters in Boston. More than 260 YouthBuild programs across the country work with low-income young people to get their high school diplomas or GEDs, and learn construction skills while building affordable housing in their own communities. Tremendous emphasis is placed on leadership development, community service, and the creation of a positive mini-community of adults and youth committed to each other’s success.

It was at YouthBuild USA where Abrigal was first introduced to James Mackey, a former gang member and high school dropout from Columbus, Ohio.

“I saw a lot of myself in James,” says Abrigal, explaining what motivated him to volunteer to become a mentor to James. “Just like me, James had it rough early on. His father, like my father, was not around. He got mixed up with the wrong crowd. He made bad decisions.

“James was a young man I saw that needed help,” Abrigal says. “I figured I could be that help.”

James, who moved from Ohio to Massachusetts to become a program assistant with Youth Build USA’s National Mentoring Alliance, says Abrigal is the closest thing he’s ever had to a father figure. Both his father and mother had been gang affiliated before him.

“My father was incarcerated before I was born, so he was never around for me. My younger brother also became incarcerated, and when my other younger brother died in gang violence, my mother was so upset she wanted to end her life,” says James, 27.

“I didn’t have a high school degree and I really had no positive role models in my life at that point. And then a friend told me about YouthBuild and I enrolled in the Columbus program and then things started to happen for me. I got invited to speak on behalf of the program in Washington, DC. Shortly after that the opportunity opened up for me in Boston.

“It was here in Boston that Abrigal introduced himself to me at YouthBuild,” James continues. “He took me under his wing. He met with me and listened to me. He helped me make the transition. He was someone I could look up to.”

For the last year and half, Abrigal and James have met once a month, usually for a meal to just go over things. The mentor and mentee say their relationship is a two-way street. They both have helped each other deal with life’s challenges. They even became roommates for seven months, when Abrigal took James in to his home for seven months when James had no where to else to live.

This natural mentoring relationship has helped make it possible for James to continue moving forward on a new path he chose for himself when he entered the YouthBuild program in Columbus so many years ago. We see evidence that mentoring works as the cycle of mentoring breaks the cycle of gang violence and the mentee becomes the mentor.

Today, James has his own apartment in Boston and is enrolled in school and pursuing an associates degree. Abrigal has a new nickname for his mentee. ”He calls me the Young General,” says James, “because it’s his way of letting me know that I’m in charge now.”

Emma and Ms. Sarah

Burlington, Vermont

Turning Pages

Twelve years together and counting, mentor match Sarah and Emma continue to write on the pages of each other's lives.

The tree was their favorite spot. No matter how many times they went to read beneath it, it never changed—the leaves didn't rustle in the wind nor did they fall in a multi-colored swirl of autumn chill. Still standing, unchanged, the tree—crafted from plywood and painted in shiny hues—reaches out its branches like welcoming arms in the children's section of the Burlington, Vermont Barnes and Noble. Even after almost 12 years as a mentor-mentee pair, Sarah and Emma still remember fondly those countless afternoons together under that tree reading everything from Stuart Little, The Secret Garden, and Shel Silverstein poems to M is for Maple Syrup, a classic Vermont read.

Ebbs and flows

Life isn't as simple now; Emma, a high school junior, moved in January from her father's home, where she'd lived for 13 years, to her mother's. The move took her two hours away from her father, her school and friends, and from Sarah. But like any friendship, especially one that has lasted 12 years, the relationship between Emma and Sarah ebbs and flows; it changes color and texture, just as childhood does as it fades into adolescence and, in turn, adolescence into adulthood.

For both of them, looking back, there were those sweet times under the reading tree; the time they went sledding when Emma's dark hair turned totally white from the snow—lighter than Sarah's—and they couldn't stop laughing; the vacation they took to Disney World when they dined with the "real" Mickey Mouse (a friend of Sarah's who worked for a while wearing a Mickey suit); the weekend in Hershey, Pennsylvania, when they ate nothing but chocolate and junk food; the school fieldtrips; movies; meals out; and best of all—just talking and hanging out. But, like any relationship, there were also the challenging times. Sarah had to figure out how to help Emma, when at six years old she had to call 911 after her mother's former boyfriend, who was convicted of domestic violence, broke into their home one night. And more recently, Emma had to make the decision to change schools and uproot the life she knew in order to open a new chapter with her mother.

What they have both learned though, is that after more than a decade together, they don't have to wonder about their love and support for each other. They can take it for granted, but they can also breathe deeply the air of a carefree New England afternoon and be reminded of this gift.

Good people

"Emma needed someone around her to be positive," says Clarence Harrington, Emma's father, explaining why Sarah and Emma were matched through the King Street Youth Center in Burlington, Vermont. "Sarah has been a good inspiration in my girl's life. Even now, at 17, when every teenager is distant and finding their way, Emma knows Sarah will always be there for her, that I am always there for her, too. Sarah's good people. A lot of people act like they care, but when it comes down to it, to the hard stuff, they don't. She does. That much class in a person is rare."

Emma admits her relationship with Sarah is different now that she is in high school and wants to spend more time with friends (and considering the two hour difference), but when she gets talking about Sarah, she forgets herself, and the memories rush out.

"Sarah is one of the craziest people I have ever met. Not crazy-crazy, but fun crazy. We always laugh a lot," she says. "When I was younger, we made up a whole series of stories about Rosebud. When Rosebud was good, she was a horse, but when she was bad—and oh, she was bad sometimes—she was a cow." But unlike Rosebud, who had to repeat first grade a good six or seven times, Emma excels in school and was even on the honor roll her freshman year.

"Yeah, Sarah is always asking me about school and my homework," Emma says. "She always tells me that doing well in school and working toward my future are the most important things. She motivates me to do my best in school." In fact, Sarah, who is director of admissions and a college counselor at the prestigious Vermont Commons School, has already started planning some college trips with Emma.

Best parts

Besides "just hanging out and being together," Emma says the best part of having Sarah in her life is having someone other than her parents to talk to. Emma has also enjoyed—and benefited from—spending time with some of Sarah's friends. "She has seen some of my women friends who have really exciting, important jobs succeeding in the world," says Sarah. "She has also met some of my male friends and realizes that men and women can be friends, that they can have positive, respectful, equal relationships." And after meeting Sarah's mother, who was a state senator, Emma started counting the years until she could vote.

As for Sarah, there are many "best parts" of being a mentor. "I don't have kids of my own, so I have been able to be a sort of second mom to Emma in a lot of ways. And she is just so amazing and fun to be with; I can't imagine my life without her," she says. "My parents instilled in me the importance of giving back. And although I have been on many organizations' boards over the years, being a mentor to Emma is without question the best thing I have ever done in my life."

Andrea Torello, executive director at Mobius Mentoring, which works in collaboration with the King Street Youth Center, notes, "It's very evident to anyone who meets Sarah and Emma that they care very deeply about each other and that they share a vast repertoire of bonding experiences. You can see it all in the way they smile at each other."

And in the opinion of Gabriella Tufo-Strouse, volunteer coordinator at the King Street Youth Center, "Sarah and Emma really are the true essence of a perfect mentoring match."

Memory's colors

Although Sarah realizes that—ironically—memories are often the one thing that constantly change with time, she remembers as if it were yesterday the first time she met Emma, her new kindergarten-age mentee. As she neared Emma's house, she saw the half curtain on the front-door window being yanked to one side. Then, from behind the glass peered a little face, first the eyes, alight and curious, then the smile, stretching full and wide with the abandon of sheer delight.

"I don't know why, but neither of us was nervous," says Sarah. "Right off the bat, we both had a lot of questions to ask and answers to offer. Then, we went to my house and made valentines. I knew becoming a mentor would be a huge responsibility, but with Emma, it has come naturally."

"I know Sarah and I will always be together," says Emma.

The valentine Emma made that day, cut from red construction paper and dog-eared pink and white doilies, still hangs on Sarah's refrigerator.

D’Angelo, Mr. Matt and Ms. Barbara

The Up Center

Virginia

My husband Matt and I have had a wonderful experience with our 10 year old mentee, D'Angelo. I have worked in education for years, and Matt just recently joined the field of education, so you would think that being around children would not feel new to us. However, it is a completely different experience just being able to enjoy a child one-on-one without an academic outcome in mind. 

Matt and I were both nervous at first - we wondered if D'Angelo would like us, if we'd be able to think up enough things to do, if it would be awkward, etc... However, what we've discovered is that we can be completely ourselves. We are fortunate that D'Angelo is a very happy, easy child who is satisfied doing anything at all with us, and his mother is very supportive and great to work with. We have gone to basketball games, ordered pizza and played video games, taken him along on our grocery store runs, walked and fed our 3 dogs and two cats, baked cookies, played in the snow, walked on the beach... The Up Center has been fantastic by not only providing tickets to special events that we can take D'Angelo to each month but also in giving advice when we have questions about being mentors. Matt and I do not plan to have children so it has been a very rewarding experience to get to know a child on this level. While we are providing him the opportunity to do some fun things he might not otherwise be doing, we are learning a great deal from him as well. It is fascinating to hear his insights and perspectives on life from a child's point of view. It really opens our eyes as adults and gives us another way of looking at our own lives.

A Perfect Match

For Suzanne and Brian Revers, it all started with an extra bedroom. Their two older daughters had moved out to start their own families, and their teenage sons, Andy and Dawson, only had a few more years at home before they too would be out of the house and off to lead their own lives.

Like many parents adjusting to an empty nest, Suzanne and Brian began to consider what the next stage of their lives would look like. They considered renting the room out—figuring they could use the space to generate a little extra income for their family—and then Suzanne read an article about REM Iowa’s Host Home program for adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

“I was immediately intrigued,” Suzanne said. “Brian and I had never heard of a program like this. We liked the idea that people with disabilities could have a housing option like a host home that allows them to be active and live their lives in regular family homes.”

Ready to Make a Difference

Suzanne called REM Iowa and spoke with a recruiter, who explained how the organization helps couples just like the Revers become Host Home providers, or “Mentors,” and matches them with adults who need support and want to live in family homes. They knew from raising their son Andy, who has Down Syndrome, that being a Mentor could be challenging. However, through their own experience and with encouragement from REM Iowa’s team the Revers knew they could be great Mentors.

Brian and Suzanne were matched with Mason, a young man who had been living in a group home with other adults with developmental disabilities. Mason liked the group home, but wanted to live with a family, where he could have more personal support and better focus on achieving his goals of finishing school and finding a job.

When the Revers met Mason, he immediately “clicked” with the family.

“We knew right away that it was a good match,” Suzanne said. “Mason was funny and easy to talk to. We just got along great.”

Success at Home and in the Community

The host home program suited Mason right from the start. He has been able to pursue his interests in science and computers, and he has his own room, which he likes keeping tidy and organized. With the support of Suzanne and Brian, he was able graduate from the local transition center, which helped prepare him for his job clearing tables at a grocery store and cafeteria.

A year after moving into the home, Mason is thriving in his job, where he has made many friends and looks forward to going to work each day. He has also maintained strong relationships with his family, who lives two hours away, and enjoyed a trip to St. Louis with the Revers—his first vacation ever. His next goal is to fly on a plane.

“I have more freedom to do the things that I want to enjoy. I have more confidence and independence,” Mason said.

Suzanne says having Mason in the home has had a positive impact on the whole family, including her sons, who have developed close friendships with him.

“It really has been a perfect fit. It’s changed our lives,” Suzanne says. “I’m glad every day that I’m doing this because I get to see Mason blossom into everything he wants to be. He knows that there’s a whole team of people here and at REM who he can count on.”

“I was immediately intrigued. Brian and I had never heard of a program like this. We liked the idea that people with disabilities could have a housing option like a host home that allows them to be active and live their lives in regular family homes.”—Suzanne, Mason’s Mentor

Wednesday's Child: Meet Jaszmine

Jaszmine and Ms. Delores

Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Sioux Empire

South Dakota

Delores and Jaszmine have been matched through the Mentoring Children of Prisoners: Caregiver’s Choice grant since January of 2009. Jaszmine’s history is similar to other children with an incarcerated parent. She lives with her grandmother and three other siblings. Her mother died three years ago, and her father and stepfather have been serving time in a state prison for domestic assault and other crimes.  She has little to no contact with her extended family except for her grandmother, an uncle and an aunt. Jaszmine relocated to South Dakota after the incarceration of her stepfather and the death of her mother. Finding a mentor for Jaszmine was crucial.  She had many adjustment and abandonment issues. In addition, her grandmother was overwhelmed with taking care of four children.

Through the Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Sioux Empire, Jaszmine was matched with her Big Sister Delores.  Delores has been a great mentor for Jaszmine. She usually plans several outings each month, offering them the opportunity to spend many hours together in their local community. Delores and Jaszmine enjoy laughing, playing and eating together, as well as many other activities. Some of the activities Delores and Jasmine have participated in include:  watching the Globetrotters play; making a pillow together at the Big Brothers Big Sisters “Make It, Take It” night; finding eggs at the Easter egg hunt; taking a cooking class; racing go-carts at the local amusement park; and spending hot evenings at Dairy Queen eating ice cream.  Delores and Jaszmine would describe themselves as friends.  They love spending time together.  Jaszmine’s grandmother has commented on how happy and relaxed Jaszmine has become since being matched with Delores.

Wednesday's Child: Marco Thrives with Mentors’ Guidance

From the moment he was born, Marco was fighting for his life. Exposed to drugs before birth, Marco was born with multiple complex medical conditions. But he was a fighter. And thanks to his foster parents and a dedicated treatment team from Massachusetts MENTOR’s Therapeutic Foster Care program, Marco had a team in his corner fighting for him.

All-Star Mentors

Marco’s foster parents, also known as Mentors, Orietta and Jackie, are a mother-daughter team. Orietta has been caring for vulnerable children as a foster parent for many years and her daughter Jackie is a nursing student who lives in the family home.

“They’re all-stars,” said Paul Cataldo, Executive Director of Massachusetts MENTOR, a partner of The MENTOR Network. “Our staff knew they could count on Orietta and Jackie to provide a loving and supportive home for Marco.”

Massachusetts MENTOR staff worked with Orietta and Jackie to ensure they had the specialized skills needed to support Marco, including how to administer his medication and how to recognize signs of potentially threatening illnesses—a lesson that ultimately helped save his life.

A Team Approach Makes all the Difference

Four days after Marco left the hospital, Orietta and Jackie noticed he was fussier than usual. Although they had welcomed Marco into their home only a few days before, Orietta and Jackie were already in-tune with his complex medical needs and related behaviors. They brought him to the hospital and called Massachusetts MENTOR’s 24/7 emergency number, available to all of the organization’s foster parents should they need advice or staff assistance. Immediately the Massachusetts MENTOR team jumped into action working with hospital staff and social workers to ensure Marco received the care he needed.

Marco’s condition fluctuated. He was transferred from critical care to less intensive levels and back to critical care as he struggled over the next several days. But Marco was never alone in his fight. Orietta and Jackie were constantly by his side and Massachusetts MENTOR staff were there to support them.

“It’s important for us to be there for the children we serve,” said Paul, “and it’s important for our Mentors to know that we’re here for them too. We’re a team.”

Marco was able to go home with Orietta and Jackie after a few weeks in the hospital. And thanks to the nurturing care he continues to receive at home today, he is thriving.

“They’re all-stars. Our staff knew they could count on Orietta and Jackie to provide a loving and supportive home for Marco.”
— Paul Cataldo, Executive Director of Massachusetts MENTOR

Wednesday's Child: Meet David

Louise and David Became Family

From the first time they met, Louise knew David was special. He was barely 15 years old at the time and had already faced more challenges in his young life than many adults confront in a lifetime. Born with multiple health challenges and developmental disabilities, David was 14 when his mother decided she could no longer care for her son.

Away from the only home and family he had ever known, David was placed into multiple foster homes. Struggling to cope with the changes in his life, David experienced emotional and behavioral challenges, making it difficult for his foster families to support him.

Enter Georgia MENTOR and Louise

When David was placed into Louise’s home through Georgia MENTOR’sTherapeutic Foster Care program, everything changed. Louise was able to see the potential beyond David’s challenges. With guidance from Georgia MENTOR’s expert clinical team, Louise was able to help David thrive. They became more than care provider and foster child to each other—they became family.

Despite David’s progress during his first year with Louise, he still had difficulty managing his emotions because of the trauma he had experienced. David needed to know that his world would not be turned upside down again. He needed a promise and Louise spoke the words David needed to hear:

“David, I want you to know that I love you and you are part of my family,” she said. “I want to be sure you understand that I will never leave you. I am your Mentor, and I will be with you forever. You will always have a home with me.”

David’s All Grown Up

David affectionately calls her “Ma,” and Louise has embraced him as her son. She is grateful to have him in her life as part of her family. When David turned 18, Louise became a certified Host Home provider so that she could continue to offer him a home. Georgia MENTOR’s continuum of services and supports is focused on helping people of all ages and abilities build rich, independent lives. In David’s case, he was able to successfully transition into the host home program—in which adults live in private family homes in the community with nurturing Mentors—from Therapeutic Foster Care and keep Louise as his Mentor.

Now 27, David enjoys playing sports and is active in Louise’s church, where he sings in the choir and helps with maintenance. His health has improved significantly, and he is on fewer medications. Louise beams with pride whenever talking about David and the man he has become.

“David is special,” she said, “and he is special to me.”

“David, I want you to know that I love you and you are part of my family. I want to be sure you understand that I will never leave you. I am your Mentor, and I will be with you forever. You will always have a home with me.”
—Louise, David’s Mentor

Wednesday's Child: Desiree

Aida and Daryl Found Their Calling

Friends, teachers and family are a few of the ways Desiree describes her Mentors, Aida and Daryl Owens, a couple who have opened their home and their hearts to help Desiree live life to the fullest.

The Owens had worked at Vineland Developmental Center since they were teenagers and had come to know and love the residents, their families and fellow staff members. After Daryl retired and they began to look towards the next chapter of their lives, the Owens searched for a way to continue making a difference in the lives of people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

Host Homes:  A Way to Continue Making a Difference

That’s when they found New Jersey MENTOR’s Host Home program, a successful community living option that offers individualized support in private family homes provided by caring Host Home providers, known as Mentors.

“As Mentors, we wanted to provide the support necessary to help someone become more independent,” said Aida. “And to know that we always would have help when we needed it from the team at New Jersey MENTOR, was so important. They make it possible for us to really make a difference in Desiree’s life.”

Five years ago, the Owens met Desiree while providing relief support for other Mentors. A young woman who had had a difficult time growing up, Desiree had low self-esteem and difficulty making friends.

When she initially came to stay with the Owens on a short-term basis, Desiree had little respect for herself or others, but after a few short weekends, she was already showing signs of improvement. She was listening more, demonstrating appropriate social behavior and becoming more confident. Desiree’s quick progress inspired the Owens and soon they welcomed Desiree into their home—and into their family—permanently.

Support and Encouragement Helped Desiree Thrive

Their approach was simple: Offer her a place to be herself, opportunities to be more independent and constant support and encouragement. The entire Owens family became role models for Desiree. They made her feel comfortable so she could learn new skills, such as cooking, cleaning and picking out her own clothes.

Today Desiree is a mature and happy young woman who is able to manage her own medication and travel independently in the community. She excels in her day program, where she works part-time and earns her own income. Most importantly, Desiree’s self-esteem has improved and she is enjoys making new friends and spending time with her Mentor family.

“When Desiree came to live with us, we became more alive. Daryl and I are convinced that investing our time and effort to help Desiree is what makes our lives worth living.”
—Aida, Desiree’s Mentor

Wednesday's Child: Christina

Rhode Island Mentoring Partnership

Warwick, RI

It was an elementary school mentoring program in Rhode Island that first brought Elaine Belvin and Christina Markrush together.

Elaine was a recently retired dental assistant and an empty nester who missed the bond she developed with her children early in their lives. Christina was a painfully shy and sad-faced first grader who suffered anxiety attacks.

Seventeen years later, the former mentor and the mentee are often reminded of the special relationship they first forged at Warwick Neck Elementary School. They still stay in touch all these years later, mainly now through emails, text messages and Facebook postings.

And they still run into each other on occasion at the same school where they first met. Elaine now mentors a boy for the same second-grade teacher that Christina had.

And Christina? She’s blossomed into a 22-year-old confident and caring adult herself. Christina now mentors two young girls, also at Warwick Nick Elementary, where she got her start.

“(Elaine) is the reason why I got into mentoring,” says Christina, who’s currently juggling three jobs to save enough money to restart her college education in early childhood development.

“She made all the difference in the world to me, and now I want to do the same for others,” she says.

Elaine, meanwhile, beams with the pride when talking about Christina.

“I admire the person she has become and the friendship we will always have together,” Elaine says. “The feeling of helping someone else, seeing a positive change and knowing you had something to do with it makes it all worth it.”

The remarkably touching story of Elaine and Christina is a testament to the power of mentoring and its ever-lasting impact. But like all mentoring relationships, it didn’t come without challenges. Elaine says it took awhile to get Christina to open up during their initial weekly meetings at school. And it took nearly a year before she was able to gain Christina’s trust and confidence.

“It took probably a year for Christina to get out of her shell,” Elaine says. “But I had my bag of tricks where I kept games, puzzles, fun activities. I let her pick what she wanted to do each time we got together.

“She hardly said a word at first,” Elaine recalls “but once she loosened up, she became a little chatterbox. It turned out she had so much to say.”

Elaine and Christina ended up hitting it off so well that they agreed to keep their mentoring relationship going through elementary school. And then again through middle school. And even through high school, although they took a break in Christina’s junior year because, between music and sports and working four jobs, it got too difficult to schedule regular meetings.

But as Christina says, their mentoring hiatus didn’t last long.

“I was busy which was great, but I found I really missed her,” Christina says. “I mean she was always there for me. I didn’t want to lose her so we started meeting again my senior year.”

Although they are no longer technically matched in mentoring program these days, Elaine and Christina will always be in each other’s lives.

“I think about Christina all the time now, like she’s part of my family. I want the updates and know how she’s doing,” Elaine says. “And when I see her and her mentees at school events now, like at this year’s holiday mentoring party, I can’t help but feel how lucky I was to be matched with her and for us to keep in touch all these years later.

Says Elaine: “Ours is a story that has really come full circle.”

Wednesday's Child: Summer and Ms. Gwyneth

Amachi Pittsburgh

Pittsburgh, PA

One-on-one mentoring has the power to bring about positive change through friendship and consistent support, but even more so through intentional skill-building activities. Amachi Pittsburgh is enthused about its latest mentoring approach: strength-based mentoring, which calls upon mentors to work with their mentee to identify, develop and cultivate their already-present strengths. Mentor Gwyneth has been using this technique unknowingly during the first year of her mentoring relationship with 11-year-old Summer, with outstanding results.

Gwyneth, 28, became involved with Amachi Pittsburgh through a local volunteer Web site, and after a few activities, she applied to become a mentor. Reflecting on her own childhood, Gwyneth realized the influence of her mother, who instilled a drive within her to make a positive impact on the world. She had the passion to give that value to someone else, and having a mentee was the perfect opportunity.

Aside from seeing Summer regularly, Gwyneth made a point to expose her mentee to different extracurricular and educational activities. Gwyneth has gotten Summer involved in three different classes — hip-hop dance, robotics and clay animation. The two of them have explored different foods and nutrition through trips to the local Whole Foods grocery store. Like Amachi, Gwyneth believes in the importance of giving children the chance to explore their many talents and realize their potential. This is the essence of strength-based mentoring.

Gwyneth has extended this strength-based approach past her conventional mentoring relationship and into Summer’s family. As she said, “Being a mentor to Summer was good in theory, but I realized without addressing the needs of her family, I could only make a small impact on her life.” With this recognition, Gwyneth invited Summer’s younger brother on some of their outings. In addition, she worked with their mother to provide support and expose her to various resources and opportunities.

Summer’s mother is thankful for Gwyneth — she even considers her a member of the family. She has seen Summer “come alive” since the two have been matched. She views Gwyneth as a godsend and hopes that every child has the opportunity to gain from a positive and proactive mentor.

Gwyneth is not only a wonderful example of an individual who uses strength-based mentoring, but also someone who can recognize the dual benefits of this relationship. Their friendship has allowed Summer to grow and gain new experiences, but Gwyneth has recognized changes in herself as well. “It has been humbling as times, while also reminding me of the simple joys in life,” she said. “It inspires me to think bigger about the impact I seek to have during this lifetime.”

From mentoring.org.

Wednesday's Child: Meet Samantha and her mentor Cathy!

Today's Wednesday's Child comes from AASK Arizona (Arizona Foster Care, Adoption & Mentoring Agency)


Uploaded on Feb 17, 2012
Cathy and Samantha teamed up through the mentoring program with AASK, but they didn't realize at the time that they were forging a friendship for life. At first, Cathy thought that she would be helping Samantha, but she soon realized that Samantha was really helping her, too.

 

Wednesday's Child: May 17, 2011

Busch Gardens trip with mentor Jennifer and mentee Candace, who are only 6 years apart!
First aired May 17, 2011.

Wednesday's Child: Hunt Club Farm 2009

Originally aired October 2009.

Wednesday's Child: April 27, 2011

Timmy needs a mentor!  First aired April 27, 2011.