10 Characteristics of Successful Mentors

According to a study of Big Brothers, Big Sisters in the USA, one of the largest mentoring organizations in the world

1. Be a friend
• Don’t act like a parent
• Don’t try to be an authority figure
• Don’t preach about values
• DO FOCUS ON THE BOND
2. Have realistic goals and expectations
• Focus on overall development, not performance and change
• Center initial goals on the relationship itself
• Emphasize friendship over performance
3. Have fun together
• Youth spell love – TIME
• Informal activities lay the foundation for formal ones
• Shared activities become great discussion starters
4. Give your protégé voice and choice in deciding activities
• Help them to explore possibilities and then make their choices
• Listen more than you talk
• Question more than you Preach
5. Be positive
• Praise and encouragement build self-esteem
• Be supportive rather than critical – focus on solutions rather than problems
6. Let the protégé have much of the control over what the two of you talk about
• Don’t push, be patient
• Be sensitive and responsive to cues
• Let them know that can confide in you without you becoming judgmental
7. Listen
• Let youth vent without criticizing them
• When you listen they see you as a friend, not an authority figure
8. Respect the trust your protégé places in you
• Respond in ways that show you understand. This is not the same as agree
• Reassure the protégé that you are there for them
• Advice should not be dispensed but mutually discovered
• If you have to convey concern or displeasure, do it with caring and understanding
• Sound like a friend not a parent… youth easily discern the difference
9. Remember your relationship is with the youth and not the youth’s parent
• Maintain cordial contact, but you are not there to be a spy for parents. You are there to be a champion for the youth
• Keep your focus on the youth
• You are not there to bring about the parents wishes, but to help the youth discover their potential
• Be non-judgmental about the family
10. You are responsible for building the relationship
• Take responsibility for making and maintaining contact
• Don’t expect adult to adult relationships

Read more: http://www.creativeyouthideas.com/resources/mentoring-youth/10-characteristics-of-successful-mentors/#ixzz3FUUKGrWT
Under Creative Commons License: Attribution